2010 Pillar of Strength Award Winner

Upon receiving the award, Mr. Hayes said, “I am touched and honored to be the first recipient of this award! My family and I are thrilled and pleased with the service of Synergy HomeCare!”

A Pillar of Strength

February 9, 2011 was cold in Columbus Ohio, but inside Bill Hayes’ residence our hearts were aglow with excitement as we presented the first “Pillar of Strength” award.

It was an honor to present this award to the Family Caregiver of the Year, Bill Hayes.  Gathered for the small but meaningful ceremony were Synergy HomeCare of Cleveland owner Leslie Selig, Columbus office manager Robin Denney, and Jenna Golden of Two Men and a Truck.  Also there to support Bill were his children, James. Grace and Hannah.

A Heartwarming History

Mr. Hayes was a family caregiver for many of his loved ones.  Primarily, he took care of his wife, who had cancer and his aging mother-in-law.  His life was dedicated to their well-being and happiness, and he converted his dining room into a makeshift hospital unit.  If you are not familiar with Bill’s heartwarming history, please read his nomination.

A Fresh Start

Every family caregiver experiences a time when caregiving as they know it changes.  Shortly after Bill was nominated for the Pillar of Strength award, his mother-in-law passed away. Though his care no longer includes someone severely ill, he holds his children in high priority.

After over 10 years of caring for others, Mr. Hayes is ready to start a new chapter for his family.  He and his daughters plan to move to the nearby Clintonville area of Columbus.  Synergy HomeCare will provide respite care by helping the Hayes family to prepare and unpack when they move to their new home.

When it comes time for the family to relocate, Two Men and a Truck will be there to contributing their moving services.  The company will provide a moving vehicle as well as expert moving personnel to assist with the Hayes’ new beginning.

Leslie Selig presenting the Pillar of Strength Award

Robin Denney presenting a certificate for 40 Hours of respite care

Jenna Golden represents Two Men and a Truck

The past five months have been exciting for our “Arms Around Family Caregivers” team.  When we launched this program, we could only hope to receive so many wonderful nominations and to have such a deserving winner.

Bill cared for:

Wife – Suzanne McDaniel Hayes

Father

Mother

Children – James, Hannah, Grace

Mother-in-Law – Margaret

Nomination of Bill Hayes

By: Prudence McDaniel (Sister-In-Law)

I am nominating my brother-in-law, Bill Hayes, for the Pillar of Strength Award because he has shown the most incredible resilience, strength, and greatness of heart of anyone I have ever known.

Bill has been my big brother since I was 13 years old. He and my sister were best friends and debate team partners from freshman year of high school and Bill is one of the very greatest gifts that my sister gave our family.

Our family has weathered a decade of loss beginning with my father’s tragic accidental death in 2001 just after Thanksgiving. We lost my aunt to lung cancer 9 days later and Bill’s uncle passed away from cancer a week after that. Bill was a tower of strength through it all.

Then, a year later, my sister was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I watched as he cared for her with the love and tenderness that every woman hopes her husband will exhibit in a time of trial. My sister survived that ordeal and she went on to live a very full life on several city-wide committees and to complete her training and become a lay minister and her prayer was answered when she was given the church of her choice.

She had just begun to truly get her strength back when we got word that Bill’s dad had colorectal cancer. He traveled back and forth between Ohio and Iowa to be with his mother and father until his father passed in April 2005.

3 months after losing his father, my sister/his wife Suzanne was diagnosed with colorectal cancer (stage 4), the same disease that just killed his father. Suzanne and Bill suffered through the chemo therapy together and if the treatments had a bad side affect, she was unfortunate to manifest the worst one. Bill was there for her through it all – day in, day out – including taking time from work to take her to Chicago for expanded treatments that weren’t offered at home in Columbus, OH. They shared a beautiful 25th anniversary party in which friends and family came in from all over the country. They were in Hawaii for their 26th anniversary and when they returned from that trip in July, Suzanne entered hospice care and 3 months later, she died on October 11, 2008. Bill has always tried to make sure that the people he loves have those things they want and/or are most important to them. His parting gifts to his wife were: making it possible for her to redecorate the kitchen as her final project and; being persistent in obtaining an absentee ballot. My sister got her dying wish – to cast her vote for Barak Obama even though she didn’t get to see him become President Obama.

Bill was left with a son just starting college at age 18, and 2 daughters ages 14, and 10.

In the last 2 years since Suzanne’s passing, Bill has been coping with both girls having debilitating physical issues of chronic stomach, and/or systemic pain which frequently keeps them out of school. Now, a year and a half later, one of the girls has been diagnosed with adolescent onset fibromyalgia. The other daughter is doing better.

Through all of this, Bill had a job that was somewhat flexible and allowed him to work from home but that relationship, over time, became very strained because of his inability to complete in office time. I find it ironic, very sad and maddening that, working in and around the health care profession, he lost his job because he was having to care for his family because of serious health issues – first with his wife and then with his children. Bill is doing consulting work now so he’s fine for the moment.

However, my mother Margaret (83), who has always been very independent is now in the final stages of congestive heart failure. In September, she reached the point where she could no longer live alone. I live in Texas and had been asking her to move in with me, but she had a wonderful retirement community where she lived with truly good friends and she didn’t want to leave – as she was truly happy for the first time in years, I agreed that she should stay put. By the time she could no longer live alone, she was too weak to make an 1,100 mile cross-country move. Her decline was very rapid and sudden.

Bill not only offered, but has opened his home to my mother.
I don’t know how many son-in-laws would take their mother-in-law into their home for end of life care after the death of their wife. He has made it possible for my mom to have the love of family around her daily (instead of a nursing home) and the greater freedom that personal care gives her through Synergy Home Care. He has been the one making sure mom got to the hospital when she needed it and making sure the medical professionals shared all information with me via phone.

Bill’s load is so full whether it is: coordinating home health workers; hospice care workers; going to consultation meetings for work; taking one of their dogs (Shaq – my sister’s dog) also diagnosed with cancer to chemo treatments; or the run with his daughter to the emergency room in the middle of the night because she has passed out and fallen down the stairs.
We’ve learned not to ask “could anything else possibly go wrong?”. Bill is, and has been, an incredible son, husband, father, and brother (in my heart I don’t count the “in-law” part anymore).

Bill is an extraordinary man who has defined, time and again, the true meaning of family. He is an incredible Pillar of Strength and I truly believe he deserves the recognition of this award.

Thank you for reading.